Perseverance

After the excitement of the holidays I’ve been feeling kinda bummed. Have new goals and resolutions I’m working on, which are good – but they are challenging and will take time to see progress; so very little motivation there. 😦 I also haven’t been able to hang out with my friends due to my work schedule which makes me feel disconnected. 😦 😦 And to top that off I’m already having to work overtime to meet January’s quota. 😦 😦 😦 Everything feels harder this month and to be honest, I really don’t want to do anything. Good thing I don’t rely on my feelings, huh? No matter what they say I am still at the gym four days a week.

Lets face it – weight loss is a bumpy ride and we all experience challenges along the way. My weight loss journey definitely hasn’t been an easy one and I hope that my previous posts haven’t alluded to such, because it couldn’t be further from the truth.

Early on I accepted several invitations to pity parties or would rationalize having “just one” and eat things that I  knew I shouldn’t. For example in September I ate five donuts in one week. FIVE. No, I didn’t gain weight from it (because I had already started changing my diet and exercise plan) but I lost some respect for myself. Instead of being reactive I became proactive. I stepped back and asked, “Why am I working against myself?” I spent quite awhile soul searching and in prayer. It came to the front that my inner child didn’t want to give up anything. I wanted to achieve weight loss and eat the donuts too.

For some, the “everything in moderation” mindset works well. As a sugar and food addict with a long history of unsuccessful weight loss attempts, I knew that it didn’t work for me. Armed with this new self-awareness, I refocused on what I wanted and why I wanted it, committed it to prayer and took steps to amend my habits.

First I asked my brother to get rid of the rest of the dozen donuts that I had been grazing on as I was too weak to resist them, then I stopped eating donuts at the weekly Coffee & Donuts after church but would still go for the coffee and the socializing. It was through this situation that I finally realized and accepted that I had to make a commitment to a complete lifestyle change.

After a few weeks of cutting the sweets, I experienced my first triumph over my sugar addiction when I threw away that donut on Halloween. It was a glorious and freeing feeling. It was then that I knew that I was mentally ready to take my weight loss to the next level by starting the 1,200 calorie diet …which I am still on today. 🙂

Don’t let the failures of today dictate your tomorrow. 

If you mess up, it’s okay. Take time to find out why, pray about it and make a commitment. Get right back on the bandwagon. I know you can do it. 🙂

Thanks for reading!

-AnnaSan

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Temptation and Victory

Greetings Everyone and Happy Halloween!

This time of year is hard for weight loss with so many holiday goodies going around. However over the last few weeks I have drastically cut back on the amount of sweets that I allow into my diet, sticking mainly with fruit and sugar free snacks and have been getting a lot more decisive with my use of “No.” By combining diet and exercise I have dropped 8 pounds in the last three weeks.

Today my employer had a special treat for their employees: box after giant box of donuts, and big containers of coffee and pumpkin spice cappuccino. Mmm.

So this morning I decided I would have a donut, after all it’s Halloween right? I went down to the cafeteria got my cup of coffee and a plain donut and headed to the staircase. I made it only 10 feet when my steps came to a stop and I started staring at the donut in my hand. It was cold and dense and filled with sugar and gluten. I could already feel the weight of it in my stomach, the sugar crash and the unchecked cravings that were sure to follow. The donut now looked neither innocent nor appealing. I gulped hard. Desperate for a way out, I asked a coworker if she would split it with me. She declined. I was stuck with the whole donut.

Burdened, I dragged my feet back to my desk where the donut was promptly wrapped up into a napkin and placed in my purse so I wouldn’t think about it. This provided momentary relief but still weighed heavily on my mind. “What do I do with it? I am not going to eat it.” After a while of working I finished my coffee and threw the disposable cup away. It was then I had a sudden realization that I could do the same with my unwelcome sweet.

On my next break I walked over to the garbage can, drew it out of my purse and I threw that whole donut away, and it felt good.

Afterward I was so empowered I wrote “Donut, you will not defeat me!” in my journal and it was a breeze to decline the candy basket when it came around.

Weight loss it a battle but I am ready for the challenge. 🙂

Thanks for reading!

-Anna San