After the excitement of the holidays I’ve been feeling kinda bummed. Have new goals and resolutions I’m working on, which are good – but they are challenging and will take time to see progress; so very little motivation there. 😦 I also haven’t been able to hang out with my friends due to my work schedule which makes me feel disconnected. 😦 😦 And to top that off I’m already having to work overtime to meet January’s quota. 😦 😦 😦 Everything feels harder this month and to be honest, I really don’t want to do anything. Good thing I don’t rely on my feelings, huh? No matter what they say I am still at the gym four days a week.

Lets face it – weight loss is a bumpy ride and we all experience challenges along the way. My weight loss journey definitely hasn’t been an easy one and I hope that my previous posts haven’t alluded to such, because it couldn’t be further from the truth.

Early on I accepted several invitations to pity parties or would rationalize having “just one” and eat things that I  knew I shouldn’t. For example in September I ate five donuts in one week. FIVE. No, I didn’t gain weight from it (because I had already started changing my diet and exercise plan) but I lost some respect for myself. Instead of being reactive I became proactive. I stepped back and asked, “Why am I working against myself?” I spent quite awhile soul searching and in prayer. It came to the front that my inner child didn’t want to give up anything. I wanted to achieve weight loss and eat the donuts too.

For some, the “everything in moderation” mindset works well. As a sugar and food addict with a long history of unsuccessful weight loss attempts, I knew that it didn’t work for me. Armed with this new self-awareness, I refocused on what I wanted and why I wanted it, committed it to prayer and took steps to amend my habits.

First I asked my brother to get rid of the rest of the dozen donuts that I had been grazing on as I was too weak to resist them, then I stopped eating donuts at the weekly Coffee & Donuts after church but would still go for the coffee and the socializing. It was through this situation that I finally realized and accepted that I had to make a commitment to a complete lifestyle change.

After a few weeks of cutting the sweets, I experienced my first triumph over my sugar addiction when I threw away that donut on Halloween. It was a glorious and freeing feeling. It was then that I knew that I was mentally ready to take my weight loss to the next level by starting the 1,200 calorie diet …which I am still on today. 🙂

Don’t let the failures of today dictate your tomorrow. 

If you mess up, it’s okay. Take time to find out why, pray about it and make a commitment. Get right back on the bandwagon. I know you can do it. 🙂

Thanks for reading!



Temptation and Victory

Greetings Everyone and Happy Halloween!

This time of year is hard for weight loss with so many holiday goodies going around. However over the last few weeks I have drastically cut back on the amount of sweets that I allow into my diet, sticking mainly with fruit and sugar free snacks and have been getting a lot more decisive with my use of “No.” By combining diet and exercise I have dropped 8 pounds in the last three weeks.

Today my employer had a special treat for their employees: box after giant box of donuts, and big containers of coffee and pumpkin spice cappuccino. Mmm.

So this morning I decided I would have a donut, after all it’s Halloween right? I went down to the cafeteria got my cup of coffee and a plain donut and headed to the staircase. I made it only 10 feet when my steps came to a stop and I started staring at the donut in my hand. It was cold and dense and filled with sugar and gluten. I could already feel the weight of it in my stomach, the sugar crash and the unchecked cravings that were sure to follow. The donut now looked neither innocent nor appealing. I gulped hard. Desperate for a way out, I asked a coworker if she would split it with me. She declined. I was stuck with the whole donut.

Burdened, I dragged my feet back to my desk where the donut was promptly wrapped up into a napkin and placed in my purse so I wouldn’t think about it. This provided momentary relief but still weighed heavily on my mind. “What do I do with it? I am not going to eat it.” After a while of working I finished my coffee and threw the disposable cup away. It was then I had a sudden realization that I could do the same with my unwelcome sweet.

On my next break I walked over to the garbage can, drew it out of my purse and I threw that whole donut away, and it felt good.

Afterward I was so empowered I wrote “Donut, you will not defeat me!” in my journal and it was a breeze to decline the candy basket when it came around.

Weight loss it a battle but I am ready for the challenge. 🙂

Thanks for reading!

-Anna San