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Your Heart Will Catch Up

My prized purchase from Youmacon yesterday! 😀

In Fuse: Memoirs of a Hunter Girl Shino takes Hamaji to a shop to purchase a kimono and accessories as a thank you for saving his life. Hamaji was raised in the mountain and never had lovely things. Her response to seeing the beautiful kimono that the shopkeeper picked out was “It wouldn’t suit me. Theres no way that it would.” Shino encouraged her to try it on before deciding and the shop keeper added, “Keep developing until it suits you.”

Once she tried it on she was still not convinced. The shopkeeper assured her, “It suits you well enough. Your heart will catch up soon.”

A video I recently watched talked about how low self esteem can prevent you from receiving the gifts God has for you. The video gave me pause. I have had a variety of self confidence issues that popped up in different ways over the years.

I was like Hamaji. I would reject whatever I didn’t think suited me. I felt inferior, like a second class woman and unworthy of pretty things.

Something that was personally hard to learn was the difference between humility and low self esteem. Humility is knowing your worth, but thinks more of others than self. Low self esteem is thinking you’re worthless or inferior and rates others more highly than self.

Little by little God has been healing me and I’ve developed into a woman confident and beautiful enough to wear this lovely kanzashi with pride.

Dear Lord Jesus, thank you for healing my mind and my heart. Thank you for opening my eyes to see that good things are prevented from coming in my life with disordered thinking. Please continue to put my house in order that I may become the woman you desire me to be. I ask this in Jesus’s name. Amen.