And twisting the knife.
How do you know when God is redirecting or when you need to bunker down and weather the storm?
I received a shock today and it goes against what has been revealed and confirmed to me time and time again in prayer. I feel lost and betrayed. Why is God allowing this suffering? Why would he confirm what he has said if it was going to lead me here?
The first reading today from Habbukuk foreshadowed the depths of my struggle today.
“How long, O LORD? I cry for help
but you do not listen!
I cry out to you, “Violence!”
but you do not intervene.
Why do you let me see ruin;
why must I look at misery?
Destruction and violence are before me;
there is strife, and clamorous discord.
Then the LORD answered me and said:
Write down the vision clearly upon the tablets,
so that one can read it readily.
For the vision still has its time,
presses on to fulfillment, and will not disappoint;
if it delays, wait for it,
it will surely come, it will not be late.
The rash one has no integrity;
but the just one, because of his faith, shall live.”
I know that God is faithful and that I should be praising through the pain. The temptation is to wallow in my misfortune, but God is good all the time even when things don’t go in my favor.
Please pray for me.