Why I Never Want to be in a Movie

• All the mistakes you made while filming are added to the DVD extra features as “bloopers”.
• Quadrillions of people are going to be watching you in theaters, at home, on computers and media playing devices such as  iPods and cellphones
• People all over the world will fantasize, glorify and mock you
• “Intimate” scenes are anything but and will be rewound and slo-moed over and over for generations to come.
• Your movie will be offered in HD and everyone will see each and every pore, mole, birthmark, hair, zit, welt, bruise and dark circle on your body.
• Any line that you speak will be immortalized. (Better like those words!)
• The paparazzi  will follow you everywhere and make your life hell.
• Tabloids will praise and slander you all in the same breath.
• Fashion bloggers and writers everywhere will strip away your right to wear what you want. (though I agree flab + bikini = noooooooooooooo!)